If you feel like you hate yourself, are filled with thoughts of self-loathing, these ideas might help you.
First of all, if you have any thoughts of suicide, please get help from a mental health professional immediately. Don’t wait. Please. If you have limited finances, a clinic in your area may offer free mental health support.
However, if you don’t feel suicidal and you feel like you hate yourself in general, there are things you can do, which may help.
More than likely, you have negative and overly critical voices in your head that are making you feel bad about yourself. In your childhood, someone criticized you and now you have a mental tape of criticism running in your head. It’s saying things like: “Hey, stupid look at what you did,” and “You’re such a loser,” or, “You can’t do anything right,” and “You’ll never succeed.”
Think of this inner criticism as a program that’s infinitely running on autoplay, because that’s exactly what it is, and it’s making you dislike you and is negatively affecting numerous areas of your life.
A lot of people try to silence these voices by using mind-altering drugs or alcohol, but that’s not effective and only creates more problems. So don’t go there. Instead, you need to reprogram the malignant program.
The next time you hear this inner criticism, pause, relax, and close your eyes. Listen to the voice. You will see and hear who it was that criticized you. It may even be more than one person. Some may not only have suffered severe criticism from a parent, teacher, care giver. or authority figure but also from bullies at school. And remember, this was during a time when your psyche was developing, when you were trying to become you. Such information imprints more readily on a child’s mind.
After you’ve recognized the voice, let yourself feel the way you did way back then so that you’ll understand the source of this criticism as understanding is the first stepping stone toward a fix and will make you feel kinder and more sympathetic to yourself.
Realize too that this negative voice has been running for a long time and has become a central and obsessive part of the workings of your thought processes. From the time the data entered your consciousness, it has affected your thinking and interfered with your rational, spiritual, and emotional self
There’s also a likelihood that this internal program has made you depressed. Medication may help and is something you should talk to a health care professional about. It may stabilize your chemistry and prevent or stop a downward spiral. If your chemistry is imbalanced, you won’t be able to get the rest of your psyche in sync.
When this downward spiral occurs, you may even have suicidal thoughts as it’s an internal alarm that’s giving you a warning. At this point, you may feel like you don’t have the energy to help yourself, but there are people skilled at helping you, and they’d love to help you get back to the surface where you can breathe the air.
At that point, you may need some time to rest and relax, a time to heal before you set out to sea again. But once you are stable, it’s time to stop the critical program from running, to access the command tapes and reprogram them. Eventually, you will learn to do this even when you’re stressed or under pressure.
The first step is recognition of this internal criticism for what it is–and that is that it’s simply a program running in your head, which is insulting you as a human being. Why? Because long ago somebody put it in your brain, but the good news is that it’s not too difficult to reprogram it with some know-how.
Know that this inner program is very guarded. You cannot attack it logically because it wasn’t originally programmed with logic. It was programmed from your experiences–the reason why affirmation books help, but don’t work. So to battle this program, you have to bypass logic and slip in through your imagination. That is, when you hear this internal criticism, you must use positive mental images to combat it and throw them up on your mental screen. If you do this, the emotional side will record the positive mental images as an experience and rewrite the program in your head.
At present, you are habitually recalling the negative experiences. But here’s a wonderful thing about the human brain–it can’t tell the difference between a real and a made up experience. And those old negative emotions will give way to positive ones if you rethink the experience in a positive way.
But it’s important that you get the correct experience in order to rewrite the program. That’s why, each time you feel these negative voices, you must take a moment out, close your eyes, and let yourself recognize the source so that you can find the mental footprints left behind. When you let your mind replay the experience, you are opening the file and are able to rewrite the program.
Once you’ve opened the file you must be kind to yourself. Let yourself experience the moment and mentally plug in a new experience of kindness, mercy, and understanding for yourself. You may think this will be difficult, but it won’t be. It will be easy as these positive emotions will come from your heart, is your truth…
Is who you really are.
And that’s what this reprogramming is all about, getting you back to who you are.
It may also help if you change the voice module. Have the critic within sound like a toddler, a sexy woman, or a comical character that makes you laugh. This will help free you from the grip of inner verbal abuse by instilling something positive and humorous.
Think of this inner voice as yours now, yours to command, yours to do with whatever you wish. Make these voices enhance rather than hinder your life.
It would also help the process along if you started some rituals that are healthy and life affirming such as joining a support group, reading something enjoyable, journaling, starting meditation or an exercise plan, delving into a new hobby or other project that you have always wanted to do. After all, the goal is all about bringing out who you truly are and will help stabilize you and center your thoughts on loving and enjoying yourself.
As Joseph Campbell said, we must follow our bliss, to be whole.
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls.” –Joseph Campbell
And finally, if you find yourself asking: “What is the point of what I’m doing?”
The answer is, because life is precious. Your life is precious! Don’t squander what is rightfully yours to the negative voices from long ago.
After cleaning up your internal program, you’ll find that as you rediscover who you really are that you enjoy life much more. You’ll also find that you no longer hate yourself. In fact, you’ll like yourself, maybe even grow to love yourself.
Good luck and many blessings to you.
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